Friday, December 4, 2015



We teach our children because we love them.  We need to remember that teaching them the commandments is an act of love.  

"We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.”
It is important to remember that if our children stray, it is with love that we correct and lead them in the right direction.  In his conference talk on tolerance and love, Elder Russell M. Nelson taught that “real love for the sinner may compel courageous confrontation—not acquiescence! Real love does not support self-destructing behavior.” 14

"Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.”  The Love of God
Dieter F. Uchtdorf

If we want to change the world, the first step is Love.  

Sunday, November 15, 2015


Somedays it feels like the world is crashing down around us.
Somedays it feels like evil will win.
Its time to remember what is most importnat.
I changed my Facebook profile to honor Paris.  I changed it to remember that the petty squabbles and the drama and policies aren't really what matters.  In a world where everyone is so focused on oursleves we need to refocus.  I love the quote by Mr. Rogers that says, "look for the helpers".  We need to take it one step further and be the helpers.  We may be blessed not to be in the midst of tradegy, but we can be the helpers in our family, among our friends, and in our own community.

Friday, November 6, 2015

On THE announcement

A bit of blog background first.  This blog was started as a project for my Marriage and Family religion class at BYU-Idaho.  It's purpose is to defend the tradition family and the views held so dear by members of the LDS faith.  My posts will be along those lines.

That being said, I am going to take a slight detour and share my feelings about this controversial topic.

If you follow LDS news you know what I am referring to.  The change in the handbook towards practicing Gay LDS members and their families.

I'm going to start with members who are in a same-gender relationship committing apostasy.  I read a comment from someone stating that this is not the definition of apostasy.  So, I looked up the official definition of the word apostasy.  Apostasy means, the abandonment or renunciation of a religious or political belief.  One of the most important doctrines of the LDS religion is marriage.  The LDS church defines marriage as being between one man and one woman.  The law of chastity, refraining from sexual relations until marriage, is an important commandment members are asked to follow.  The law of chastity also states there is to be no sexual relations between members of the same gender.  By entering into a same-gender marriage or relationship the people involved in the relationship are abandoning a deeply held belief of the church, hence apostasy.

Now I want to touch on the more painful decision about the children of individuals in same-gender marriages/relationships.  I'll be honest here, I don't fully understand this one.  I believe it is not intended as a punishment towards the children or their parents.  Baptism into the LDS church is a serious commitment.  It would be immeasurably confusing for children to be part of a church and make covenants that are contrary to their parent's lifestyle.  I think most would agree.  Personally, I would not want my children to be part of an organization that does not approve of who I am.  I think waiting for the children to be old enough to understand, and legal adults, is the best choice.  As far as the requirement to disavow gay marriage, well that's the confusing part.  I believe the church in no way intends for this to mean they have to disown their parents.  However, I fully acknowledge that this can happen.  We are all human with many imperfections, and so many of our imperfections become apparent in the way we treat others.  

There is so much about this difficult topic that we just don't understand.  I know many in the church see this as a black and white issue.  Those of us who do not feel same-gender attraction can never know what a difficult situation it is.  It's easy to say, just don't act on it, but we aren't living it.  I have so much love and empathy for those going through something I will never understand.  It is not fully know where and why same-gender attraction comes from.  Are they born that way?  I believe they are.  But why?  Is this a trial God gives to his children?  Is it a genetic mutation?  Is it an evolutionary step to slow down overpopulation?  (For the record I do not believe this last, but I can't disprove any possibilities.)  Whatever the reason, it seems to be a part of this fallen world we live in.

A little side story to hopefully illustrate what I am trying to say.  A few years ago I went through some difficult times, and had to deal with a painful trial.  (Disclaimer, I am in no way comparing my experience to those in this situation.)  I didn't share the particulars of this trial with many people, so no one knew what I was going through.  This particular trial is one I've heard spoken of in what ifs.  I also ready many articles on this subject in an effort to make sense of my feelings.  So many times I heard, "If that happened to me that would be it.  No forgiveness."  These people fully believed what they were saying, there was a time I fully believed similar sentiments.  However, being faced with this trial changed my view.  I made decisions I didn't think I would.  The point is, unless you've been there, felt exactly what others are feeling, you can't fully understand.  Your advice, while well-meaning, would come from a place of ignorance.  All that is wanted and needed is love, understanding, and empathy.  I know its possible to love, understand, and empathize while still holding on to the beliefs you hold dear.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

My Ponderize

1 Corinthians 13:12
For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face:  now I know in part; but then shall i know even as also I am known.

We discussed this scripture today in Sunday School.  It struck a chord with me today.  There is so much we don't understand or see in this life.

This actually fits with what I wanted to talk about in this blog post.  Gender has been a hot topic in the news lately. I've seen numerous articles about gender reassignment, gender neutral bathrooms, and gender neutral clothes.  I don't understand and I know I won't in this life, these issues.  It is not my place to judge.

However, I feel it is detrimental to push society in the direction of one gender.  We can embrace the differences of others, and help those who struggle with gender identity, while not taking away from those who embrace their gender.  As a woman I would not be comfortable sharing a public restroom with men in the next stall.  I would not feel safe.

Our gender is and will be part of who we are for eternity.  In the Proclamation to the World it reads, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”  Men and women are born with innate differences.  These differences do not mean either is lesser in the eyes of God.  In sacred responsibilities of men and women are spelled out in the Proclamation.  “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.  Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”  It goes on to say, “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” 

We are born with gender differences.  These are not mistakes.  They are not thrust upon us by society.  We have these differences so we can work together and achieve what none can achieve alone.  God created Eve to be a help meet for Adam.  Moses 3:21-24 reads, 21 And I, the Lord God, caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and he slept, and I took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in the stead thereof; 22 And the rib which I, the Lord God, had taken from man, made I a woman, and brought her unto the man.  23 And Adam said:  This I know now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.  21 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.  Women was created to be part of man.  Our gender differences are important to the essence of this union. 

Our gender makes us unique and with these unique differences we can obtain eternal life and work to bless God’s kingdom.  President Packer said, “A man who holds the priesthood does not have an advantage over a woman in qualifying for exaltation.  The woman, by her very nature, is also co-creator with God and the primary nurturer of the children.  Virtues and attributes upon which perfection and exaltation depend come naturally to a woman and are refined through marriage and motherhood…”  

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Anti-Family is Anti-Christ

The purpose of this blog is to share my thoughts on the family.

In my readings this week I came across a truth that was new to me.  Anti-Family is Anti-Christ.  Heavenly Father's entire plan was for families.  From the creation to the atonement so we can return and live together with our families.  Christ's love and sacrafice for us helps us become eternal