A bit of blog background first. This blog was started as a project for my Marriage and Family religion class at BYU-Idaho. It's purpose is to defend the tradition family and the views held so dear by members of the LDS faith. My posts will be along those lines.
That being said, I am going to take a slight detour and share my feelings about this controversial topic.
If you follow LDS news you know what I am referring to. The change in the handbook towards practicing Gay LDS members and their families.
I'm going to start with members who are in a same-gender relationship committing apostasy. I read a comment from someone stating that this is not the definition of apostasy. So, I looked up the official definition of the word apostasy. Apostasy means, the abandonment or renunciation of a religious or political belief.
One of the most important doctrines of the LDS religion is marriage. The LDS church defines marriage as being between one man and one woman. The law of chastity, refraining from sexual relations until marriage, is an important commandment members are asked to follow. The law of chastity also states there is to be no sexual relations between members of the same gender. By entering into a same-gender marriage or relationship the people involved in the relationship are abandoning a deeply held belief of the church, hence apostasy.
Now I want to touch on the more painful decision about the children of individuals in same-gender marriages/relationships. I'll be honest here, I don't fully understand this one. I believe it is not intended as a punishment towards the children or their parents. Baptism into the LDS church is a serious commitment. It would be immeasurably confusing for children to be part of a church and make covenants that are contrary to their parent's lifestyle. I think most would agree. Personally, I would not want my children to be part of an organization that does not approve of who I am. I think waiting for the children to be old enough to understand, and legal adults, is the best choice. As far as the requirement to disavow gay marriage, well that's the confusing part. I believe the church in no way intends for this to mean they have to disown their parents. However, I fully acknowledge that this can happen. We are all human with many imperfections, and so many of our imperfections become apparent in the way we treat others.
There is so much about this difficult topic that we just don't understand. I know many in the church see this as a black and white issue. Those of us who do not feel same-gender attraction can never know what a difficult situation it is. It's easy to say, just don't act on it, but we aren't living it. I have so much love and empathy for those going through something I will never understand. It is not fully know where and why same-gender attraction comes from. Are they born that way? I believe they are. But why? Is this a trial God gives to his children? Is it a genetic mutation? Is it an evolutionary step to slow down overpopulation? (For the record I do not believe this last, but I can't disprove any possibilities.) Whatever the reason, it seems to be a part of this fallen world we live in.
A little side story to hopefully illustrate what I am trying to say. A few years ago I went through some difficult times, and had to deal with a painful trial. (Disclaimer, I am in no way comparing my experience to those in this situation.) I didn't share the particulars of this trial with many people, so no one knew what I was going through. This particular trial is one I've heard spoken of in what ifs. I also ready many articles on this subject in an effort to make sense of my feelings. So many times I heard, "If that happened to me that would be it. No forgiveness." These people fully believed what they were saying, there was a time I fully believed similar sentiments. However, being faced with this trial changed my view. I made decisions I didn't think I would. The point is, unless you've been there, felt exactly what others are feeling, you can't fully understand. Your advice, while well-meaning, would come from a place of ignorance. All that is wanted and needed is love, understanding, and empathy. I know its possible to love, understand, and empathize while still holding on to the beliefs you hold dear.
